It’s more than common to see the troupe on TV or in a movie where the unsatisfied woman pulls out a vibrator to pleasure herself. Let’s set the scene. Most of the times it is a couple going to bed or already in bed. They want to fool around. However, one decides that they just aren’t that into it. They go to bed, the disinterested one goes to sleep while the aroused partner lies there anxious and horny. Maybe they are even a little upset. Regardless to fix the situation they reach over to the bedside table and pull out a vibrator to fix the situation. If the roles are reversed, the man usually heads to the bathroom and pulls out his smart phone to watch something online for a little stimulus. 

Unfortunately, these scenes give sex toys a negative connotation in the couple’s bedroom. Hopefully, that vibrator that was used is efficient for sex as it is for masturbation. The point is, that when you become a couple you don’t give up on sex toys. Further, sex toys shouldn’t only be used solo when your partner can’t join in on the pleasure.

Aren’t Sex Toys Solo Acts?

Yes, they can be, but they don’t have to be. Sex toys are strictly a solo act. Sex toys can be used in situations with more than one person. When you are with someone as a couple, you may think that sex toys are no longer part of the equation. Toys in the bedroom is something that you had priorly explored in college or after graduation. Now that you have a partner, they are supposed to attend to your every sexual need and satisfy your every erotic thought. 

It is unreasonable to think that partners are required or expected to only have sexual experiences with their partner once they have coupled. That ignores the idea of having a partner. If individuals weren’t allowed to explore themselves sexually, most people would opt to never settle down. Having a significant other is about the totality of the relationship, not just the sexual experiences. 

With a partner you can truly explore and experience new and exciting things in the bedroom. This means that toys are fair game and encourage as long as both partners are ready and willing to introduce something new between the sheets.

What Types of Toys Are Good for the Bedroom?

If you have experience with sex toys already, think back to those moments. What would you normally use a sex toy for? What type of sex toy would you use? For example, as a solo artist a woman may choose to focus on vagina excitement and favor a vibrating dildo. If this is what she knows and what she is comfortable with, then this is where the couple should start in the bedroom. You don’t have to jump into anal beads right away. 

With your partner, you discuss what you want, how you want it, and make sure that everyone is on board. This allows you to relax in the moment, and you can focus on enjoy the movement, and the touch. Just like anything, your taste and desires can grow with time, but jumping into the deep end can be traumatizing if you aren’t ready for it and can force you to pull back sexually. Toys are an amazing and elevating experience for couples. They can increase pleasure and provide plenty of entertainment. It is all in what you use and how you use it. 

Remember to Focus on the Experience

How can sex be better with a partner who is part of the coupling? Sex isn’t something that is perfect the first time. It requires patience and experience to learn about your partner’s body. It takes communication and listening to know what they like and how they want it. This thought about sex applies to sex toys as well. They are called sex toys not sex tools. Toys are meant to be fun. As you start to introduce more toys into your bedroom routine with your partner as a couple, focus on having fun and focus on the pleasure that you can provide yourself and your other half.

On the site Dame Products, credentialed sexologist Alexandra Fine talks specifically about sex toys that are specifically made for couples. These toys work even when the two are touching and inside each other. They can also be remotely controlled for intimate distance sexy times. Whatever you end up deciding is appropriate for your evenings, just remember to have fun.