Whether you call it coming, climaxing, or reaching the mountaintop, an orgasm is a fantastic way to start or end your day. And as fun as our sexual experiences might be, the shared moments of intimacy with a partner or simple solo joy with your trusty sex toys, orgasms are actually far more than simply the pleasure.
Reaching the mountaintop can be good for your physical and mental health, from your circulation and skin to boosting your immunity and helping relieve the pain of the dreaded menstrual cramp. But what if I told you that you could increase this health-boosting pleasure? There’s a thing called orgasm denial, and here’s what it’s all about …
Orgasm denial is the act of denying yourself or someone else the pleasure of sexual climax while getting frisky under the sheets. The process may end in an orgasm, or it may not. Orgasm denial is closely affiliated with the BDSM world in dominant and submissive play, but you don’t have to be interested in BDSM to partake in a bit of orgasm denial. This practice is something you can do with a partner or even by yourself through masturbation! By delaying your orgasm, you put your body into a heightened state of arousal, so when you are finally allowed to come, the orgasm is even more powerful than it usually is.
So without further ado, let’s delve deeper into the practice of orgasm denial.
Why Engage in Orgasm Denial?
So the big WHY, then. Why do people delay orgasm? Why not just get right to the good stuff? Firstly, orgasm denial adds to the sexual experience. So instead of your sexual arousal lasting just that hour you spend in bed with your partner, you can make it last for the whole day, week, or month. Secondly, it’s a common technique used by a dominant to exert their power over their partner.
Orgasm denial has long been a practice associated with BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism). It is typically used in a dominant and submissive situation where the dominant has control over the submissive’s sexual pleasure. Orgasm denial could just involve not sexually pleasuring the submissive at all; however, it normally involves teasing or edging to torture the submissive sexually.
As for how long orgasm denial is carried out, it is down to the parties involved: it could be a day or up to a whole month if the dominant feels that way inclined.
Orgasm denial is a great addition to sex for people looking to make sex a drawn-out experience, whether you’re into BDSM or not. It’s also great if you really love the process of ‘getting there’ instead of the final big O itself. And when you do have an orgasm, my oh my, will you thank yourself for controlling your climax in such a way.
A Word on Orgasm Denial Vs. Edging
Although they sound the same, they most definitely are very different. Orgasm denial means literally denying yourself or someone else their orgasm. Edging involves bringing yourself or another person to the brink of orgasming and then stopping the pleasure to start again at square one.
Although they are different practices, orgasm denial is often combined with edging to tease or sexually torture someone. Orgasm denial does not always have the end goal of an orgasm, whereas edging does.
How to Partake in Orgasm Denial …
There are many ways that you can indulge in orgasm denial. Like with anything sex-related, you can really tailor orgasm denial to your personal preferences. Here are some ideas to get you started:
BDSM orgasm denial:
There are plenty of ways you can add orgasm denial into your BDSM play. However, here’s a couple of ideas.
- You could tie your partner up, blindfold them, and tease them with a vibrating toy, slowly edging them to orgasm. Just as you sense that they’re about to climax, turn off the vibrator and start again from the lowest setting. Alternatively, stop altogether and let them be aroused for the rest of the day. You could also add some nipple clamps and spanking in there somewhere too.
- Start off by teasing your partner to make them very aroused, whether with your mouth, fingers, having sex, or by stimulating them with a vibrator. When you can sense they are at their peak of arousal, stop what you are doing, make them put on a chastity device, and go about their day. Knowing that they physically can’t touch themselves will keep your partner aroused the whole day. If your partner has a vagina, why not get a chastity device that has a dildo attached?
Less hardcore orgasm denial:
Vanilla sex does not have to be boring. And it definitely can involve some form of orgasm denial!
- If your partner comes onto you, simply say no. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘turning off the sex tap’? This is what you’re doing. Tell your partner that they can’t touch themselves. They will only get sexual pleasure when you decide to turn the sex tap back on.
- Ban the most sensual areas. Instead of banning all sensual pleasure, try banning your partner from touching their vulva or penis. Instead, they have to find other places on their body where they can feel pleasure. Enjoy watching your partner caress themselves.
- Whisper ‘don’t come’. These words are so hot when whispered just at the right time during sex, no matter if it’s vanilla missionary or hardcore doggy style. As you sense your partner is getting closer to the edge of orgasm, whisper ‘don’t come’ in their ear. This will make the hotness level of the sex go from 0 to 100 in a nanosecond. Listen to your partner moaning in delight as they try their hardest not to come. If they do orgasm, it’s up to you if you punish them a little.
Orgasm denial is one way to make your orgasms way more powerful. Trust me, it seems like hard work at first, but when you deny yourself sexual gratification, my goodness, does it feel amazing when you finally climax. Have you ever been away from your partner for a couple of weeks and found that the sex is so much hotter after a break? That’s because your body has been denied sex with your partner, so when it finally happens, your body is overly sensitive and is able to feel more sensation than it did when you had sex every day with your partner.
It’s the same situation if you use a vibrator every day. Eventually, your body gets used to the sensation of the device. If you take a break from your vibrator for a week and come back to it, suddenly, the vibrations feel way more delicious than the week before. Try this out and see how your body reacts!
Orgasm denial is also a great way to experiment with domination and submission. You can go as easy or hardcore as you like. The main thing is that you enjoy yourself.
Let your creative juices flow with orgasm denial… make it your own!