Dear Andy, I met this guy who said he is straight. About six months ago. Of course, I believed him. He asked me for some help with finding clients and helping him out with his small business. He’s learning English and still has a hard time understanding sometimes. I helped him with a lot of things to bring him, clients. Introduced him to key people in the community, and helped him and his girlfriend move to a bigger place.
Recently his girlfriend kicked him out of her house and he asked me to help him find a small place. Their business had failed, neither one knew how to run it. He and his girlfriend did not follow through with appointments made me look bad to my clients that I referred to him. He’s always busy fighting with his girlfriend. She always takes the car and goes shopping with money they don’t have.
Soon after he asked me to help him with an idea. His friends from where he came from are gay and they had suggested to him that he could do massages, escorting, and cleaning houses in the nude, pose for a calendar, and other fun sexy, gay stuff. That if he did that he would make a lot of money. He asked me to help him with that. I told him that I would think about it.
Since then, he calls me asking for help. To help him make an ad. Take his pictures and post them on Craigslist or make a calendar. Basically to pimp him out by getting him in touch with night clubs to strip. At the same time, he asks me not to put his pictures up because he doesn’t want his girlfriend (they are back together) to find out or his family. He wouldn’t know how to explain it.
I can’t take all his calls or cannot see him all the time. He tells me that he needs me. That he wants me to help him. Asks me to take him out to dinner, clubbing, and of course expects me to pay his way. Some of his texts are weird. “I really want you.” “Let’s be more than friends.” “Help me. I want you…” “I can give you a massage, so I can pay for food.” “I will pose for you naked.”
I’m getting mixed feelings. I’m all creeped out. I do want to help him. He is hot. I’ll admit to that. Would love to sleep with him. Maybe if I ask him to move in he would stop texting, or stress out about his girlfriend, and we could have great sex and he can clean my house until he finds a job.
Confused by a Straight Guy.
Dear confused by a straight guy,
You are more than that. Don’t even consider moving him in. Stop talking to him. He’s just making you feel guilty about his situation. It’s obvious that he’s not even trying to better himself or get a life. It seems, and I see this a lot, he’s trying to manipulate you into taking him in and support him. It’s a common problem in the LGBTQIA+ community. Man, straight or not, it doesn’t matter, they want to be taken care of. It’s the whole gay for sex thing. They think that all gays have money, will take in a stray, and always go for the “straight” guy.
Hold your head up high. Find someone else to date. Someone that is willing to give back what you give him. Go to places that you like to go and seek other men who have the same interests. The big fish is out there. You just need to stop fishing where you only find old boots and move another part of the river.
Share this story if you have gone through the same. You can also email me if you have a problem and need queer advice. Talk to you soon.