I found my ex on Facebook. I always wonder what happened after he left me years ago. I hadn’t had a decent relationship because I’m afraid that I would get a beating or be called names. I end my relationships if I feel it’s going somewhere like it did with my ex.
I had fallen in love with the first guy I met. It was a year if heaven and hell. The first six months were great. He opened doors moved my seat. Paid for our dinners and I was so deeply in love. He proposed marriage, and I said ‘yes.’
The last six months were hell. At first, he would be annoyed with me. Then he would get angry. He started calling me names like fatso, fag, and fairy. Told me I’m worthless and no one would take me or be my boyfriend. At times, he would beat me hard, and I ended up in the emergency room. On our last night together, he climaxes, and as he rolls over, he tells me going back to women.
I’ve been afraid of every man I meet. Now I found him. He has a wife, three children, and a big house in Arkansas. I don’t know what to do. Should I contact him and see if he takes me back and leave her?
-What did I do wrong?
Dear, What Did I do Wrong,
You have done nothing wrong. You shouldn’t, even though you feel the need. You’ve gone this far without him. Now it’s time to think about you. What do you want out of life? How about a stable relationship that both of respect each other? You might be attracting the same men and be in an endless cycle of abuse. It’s not easy to get out of it. Seek some counseling. Go to your local LGBTQIA+ center and ask for a referral or see what kind of meetings they offer. There’s a way out, and you must find it to be happy again.
You’re not the only one, and there are support groups. Seeing your first love years later is not an easy thing to forget or, for that matter, something to let go. He was the first man you fell in love with, and you hoped for the best. Then he breaks your heart, and you can’t trust anymore. The thing is, you can trust again. If something happens and your heart is broken again, it’s okay. Stand up, straighten up, hold your head up high and go forward.
Keep strong. Focus on you. Love yourself, and you will see that someone will love you back.