Dear Andy, how big am I supposed to be to get a date?
It seems that every time I go online to meet someone the first they want to know is how big I am. I’ve known a lot of people who have met online, and they have been very happy. Why is it that I have to be asked this question?
I’m not a prude. I’m 35 years old and I just got out of a long relationship. I’m a little gun-shy and it seems that all these guys want is to know my size. Is this a factor today in the dating world? Is it that important to be big? I’m not saying that I’m small. I just don’t see the purpose or the reasoning for basing love and relationships in size.
I don’t want you to think that I’m on certain apps or an easily available personal ad. I’m actually talking about the one I have to fork out hundreds of dollars (to be on). In the past six months, I have spent a fortune looking for true love. On some of these sites, I can’t even get my money back. I thought maybe if I paid my way to date I would find someone nice. It isn’t happening.
Here’s what I post.
Looking for LTR with someone that wants to know my mind, my heart, and my soul. Be tall, semi-dark, masculine, with blue eyes, brown hair, toned body, a career, a car, friendly, free will to do as he pleases, and above all is a good, no I mean, great lover.
I’m not sure what else to do. I tried blind dates, but it seems that no-one seems to know what my type is.
-Broke and Lonely
Dear Broke and Lonely,
You may be going at it all wrong. Just because you put your name out there doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to get what you want. There’s a secret to it. First, you need to know what exactly it is that you want. Your ad is too descriptive and with all of that, they want to know what it is that you’re giving them. Of course, they want to know how big you are. You say nothing about yourself. I would probably ask the same thing.
I recommend you first decide what qualities you want from a man, and be flexible. Everyone has a preference, true, but don’t write others off straight away. Have fun meeting new people. Also, you might want to write something about yourself. Imagination is a good thing, but at this endeavor, size does matter.
Give the impression of what you look like and what you do. If you hike, you might have great legs. If you watch movies all day, you might have a pot belly.
Try something like:
Adventurer with brown eyes seeking same. I enjoy company when I go hiking, rock climbing, and camping. I also enjoy rock and roll and country on a good hot day by the pool. Mexican food is my favorite and I enjoy Mediterranean and Asian food as well. My favorite movie is The Rocky Horror Picture Show, yet I don’t get it.
Obviously, don’t copy mine. Make some adjustments and put in what you like. It’s all about the give and take. Let them know what you want and what you like.
Dear Andy is an advice column. So please share your stories, ask your questions, and see what others have gone through in their love lives.