So yesterday I went into a job interview. I have a few set up for the next few days, and when I express interest in the various positions, I send over a resume with my chosen name, Chris. It is to my knowledge that most FTMs perform as a female until they are fully transitioned, but I just can’t do that. The way I see it, I have to be true to myself, and it’d be easier to just have everyone call me Chris rather than have to adjust later. However, I’m wondering if anyone else has had this problem here in Sacramento, or if I’m just grasping at straws, but it seems like this is considered a negative thing, for a preemie to introduce themselves with their preferred terms.

I talked to a friend about it, a retired radio personality, and he told me that I should only give the bare minimum amount of information on the subject, while a group of family members and other persons remind me that I must apply using my legal name. Which is sensible, they can’t legally pay me otherwise.

So I Googled the process in California to change my name and gender legally. The process is relatively simple but requires one to show a document from a doctor stating that this person has undergone “clinically appropriate treatment” for change of gender. I assume this means that a person has either undergone Hormone Replacement Therapy, Sex Reassignment Surgery, or both.

Everyone around me says I should get a job before I start the medical stuff, but I feel like waiting is getting between me and getting a job? I feel like Max from Season 3 of the L Word when he got turned down from a job for being “hard to peg” and then getting the job after starting T, but before he started T.

Part of it is how I look, and how I sound. Admission: My voice is highly feminine. It still breaks, even. And I can’t pass for the life of me unless I wear heavy outerwear that hides everything. I can’t even find a decent binder offline (and can’t buy online). And then the moment I open my mouth, if I’m not as quiet as possible, I don’t pass.

So yesterday, I decided to finally look up a gender therapist. I don’t know if that’s the term for it, but that’s what I Googled and I found a place, so hey. I’m going down today to see them and figure out where to start. Thankfully, even if my insurance wasn’t all straightened out, the place doesn’t cost a dime to visit for “Name and Gender Change Help”, and it seems the Hormone-related appointments require no more than a donation of five or more dollars.

I’m off to the Gender Health Center in Sacramento. I tell you both in case it is legit so you know it exists, and in case it’s not legit so you know where to send the cops in search of my body, haha.

Wish me luck!