Let me just preface this by saying that you are completely entitled to your own preference when it comes to your choice of sexual partners. However, as a black man, I feel the need to have a little heart-to-heart with these so-called ‘size queens.’

Now in case you’re not really familiar with this term, a size queen is a gay male (usually) who will only engage in sexual acts with men who are very well endowed.

Like an 8 inch minimum.

They actively seek out guys who they think will match up to their size requirements and unfortunately for black men, such as myself, we are usually on the menu. I’m sure this is probably due to the ridiculous (and outdated) stereotype that all black men have huge uh…equipment. We are also seen as being a lot more aggressive in the sheets than other races. It’s almost as though we’re seen as toys. Disposable dildos who are only there to serve one purpose and never to be thought of as a potential mate. There’s a short documentary that examines how black men are often viewed in the gay community. Typical phrases include “I never thought I’d be dating a black guy” or the more common “you’re pretty cute for a black guy.”

While I certainly can’t speak for all gay black men, I will say that it’s really disappointing when you think a cute guy might actually like you for you but it turns out he just wants what he THINKS is between your legs.

In fact, the term BBC, which I’ll let you look up for yourself if you can’t piece together what it could be, is so frequently used that it has become a whole category all its own for a lot of porn sites both gay and straight. The term is thrown around quite a lot on Craigslist by men looking for sex and I’ve even seen it on Grindr. Now that’s not really much a surprise honestly, but this fetishization of black men in the gay community has got to stop. It’s not your average foot fetish, it’s both damaging and completely weird. Not to mention, RACIST. If you happen to be a size queen, then know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but if you only want me because of the color of my skin and the stereotypes that come with it, then that’s where you are wrong, sir. Penises come in all sizes, shapes, and, most importantly, colors.

Yes, I’m black…but I’m not your toy.