There’s an odd stigma against polygamy in our society as a whole. It’s either seen as a way to excuse infidelity or just a way people wiggle out of commitment. Anyone who has been in a polygamous relationship knows that those assumptions couldn’t be farther from the truth. Polygamy is a beautiful, simple way of exploring your sexuality while maintaining a close relationship with your partners. I am currently in an open polygamous relationship, meaning that I am with two partners and we’re open to outside experimentation. Contrary to many people’s outside opinion, this doesn’t diminish our relationship at all. Also, as the saying goes, variety is the spice of life. Through my own personal experience, I’ve compiled a short “rule book” of guidelines of a healthy polygamous relationship I hope will help any curious minds out there.
- The Peril of Jealousy: I’ve put this first because it’s the most important rule of any poly relationship, and it’s very important to be aware of even more monogamous relationships. Jealousy is the most toxic thing that could exist in a polygamous relationship. If one member of the relationship grows envious of either the distribution of affection or romance, this needs to be communicated. If not, that will cause hidden resentment which will only grow. If you’re generally a jealous person, a poly relationship isn’t for you.
- Communication: As in any relationship, communication is key. This is especially true in poly relationships because with more members in the relationship there are more opportunities for harbored resentment or hidden feelings. If all members are equally comfortable with each other, as they all should be, then communication should easily become a part of the relationship. If you have any opinions or emotions you feel are important, it’s extremely important to express these to the other members of your relationship.
- Regarding Social Media: When it comes to public awareness of your relationship, you have a few different options. If you choose not to make your relationship public that’s ok, but it may cause mixed feelings within the relationship. Public displays of affection is one way of making your poly relationship public, but be prepared for odd looks and a lot of judgment. A big issue is social media. Before you post anything about your relationship make sure every member of the relationship is ok with it being completely public– anything on social media is completely public to anyone who wants to see it.
A poly relationship is beautiful and a refreshing change from the strict monogamous standard of our society. It isn’t something to be shamed, but to be respected and appreciated. If you’re interested in being involved in a polygamous relationship, hopefully, this short rule book will help you out. The most important thing is this though: mutual respect. Have fun, be safe.