A couple of days ago I spent the morning with one of my oldest and dearest friends. While we were out I thought about my wife at home alone. She’s still off of work recovering from hand surgery but she has almost resumed full function.
“I wonder what shenanigans Sheena is up to,” I told my friend over breakfast.
“What makes you think she’s up to shenanigans?”
“Oh, just a hunch.” The last time I had this hunch, Sheena had purchased a chainsaw, an edger, a leaf blower, a hedge trimmer, and several extension cords. We finished breakfast and spent the morning running errands and enjoying each other’s company. On my way home I called my wife.
“Hi, Honey. What are you doing?”
“I went to Home Depot,” she said at barely a whisper. “I bought a few things for the yard.”
I couldn’t imagine what else we might possibly need for the yard. When I returned home, I witnessed my wife’s mischief first hand.
The front yard was decked out in full Halloween glory. Most prominent was a nine-foot inflatable black cat, standing and swinging his orange and black striped tail high in the air. On the left side of the lawn was a five-foot inflatable grim reaper. He was less intimidating than he should be as he was dwarfed by the cat. There were big spider web lights covering both bonsai bushes, each topped with enormous black spiders. White ghosts floated on air from a projector. There were three hay bales on the front steps holding up a large skull.
“What do you think?” Sheena asked, her green eyes twinkling.
“I think you’ve proven the stereotype that lesbians love Home Depot.” I poked at her smiling. Sheena stood there admiring it all. Her energy and enthusiasm were infectious. My wife is incredibly easy to love. “And I also think you should give me the Home Depot card.”
Some lesbians love home depot. Some don’t. My wife, she sure loves it. Stereotypes are bad…but don’t feel bad if you fit into one. That doesn’t make you “a bad lesbian” just because you are somewhat stereotypical.