I have met some interesting women in the online dating arena and I have to say, the online dating world is a naughty wonderland of deception and decrepit traps. I must also say, for the observant and intuitive, it is an amazing tool to meet new people. I have had nothing but positive experiences; however, I talk to so many friends who tell me the most hilarious and unfortunate tales of online dating horrors.
Let me be clear when I say that these are only my opinions and experiences based on personal analysis. My observations are general and not directed at a specific person. These are just methods that I use to avoid meeting certain types of women. To avoid meeting the wrong person, I am deliberately judgemental during the selection process. Before you think harshly of me- let me ask you this- why is it that so many women spend more time judging what they eat than who they date? I rest my case. There is nothing wrong with having firm standards upfront.
Online dating is full of amazing people who simply want to meet someone to have fun with, date, or marry. I love using the internet as a tool for connecting with other women but I feel that you just have to be prepared to protect yourself from unnecessary situations. I personally made some rules that have helped me be successful in not meeting the loonies out there.
Here are some of my personal rules for online dating:
Rule #1: If you spot a lie, do not pass go, do not collect $200- walk the heck away. Warning! Warning! This ish is insecure and crazy! She has a mental disorder that justifies her dishonesty when she doesn’t even know you. Why would you date someone who lies from the beginning? There is no excuse to be a liar-ever! Accept it or fail.
Rule #2: Ambiguous statements are a sign that this person is either; married, in a relationship, or a liar/cheat. Yes, this is generalizing but come on!
Rule #3: All text and no talk…I don’t know about you but I am a grown woman and texting is for teenagers. What woman over 30 thinks it’s OK to conduct courtship via text? Give her your number and if she calls, you can voice verify and prove that she is not hiding you at the same time.
Rule #4: Naked pics, fish face, and bent over booty pics are the first sign of an online mistake waiting to happen… I mean, who is holding the cam for her? Is it her boyfriend/husband? If you want casual encounters from lonely occupied women, go on Craigslist. If you see a woman posing with a fish face pic, you are in for a bad experience. It doesn’t matter how sexy she is. I think it’s OK to have a sexy pic, but it should be kept classy.
Rule #5: Women who use intimate endearments easily are needy. If she calls you baby, sweetie, honey, or anything else before you are able to exchange phone numbers, you are talking to someone who has a high level of emotional need (Southerns excluded, they’ll say “honey” to basically anyone). These women tend to be recently single and have not adapted yet. They are in rebound mode and grasping for connection to help with the loneliness they are going through. Please understand that this rule is general.
Rule #6: Never date a woman who is recently single. Make sure she has been single for at least 6 months- preferably a year. I say this from my own experience as well as watching other people falter. We need time to be alone and heal or we end up projecting our own needs on another person.
Additional steps to online dating that I follow that have kept me from dealing with unfortunate dating experiences are:
- Make sure the online conversation is interesting. Once you identify that you like talking to her, share your phone number but do not give your last name yet. If you find that she is crazy, download an app that blocks her number and gives her a “disconnected number” message so that she moves on.
- Do not be tempted to meet her without getting her FaceBook info. Add her and review her profile. Dating is an interviewing process. You are trying to find the right partner, do not be apologetic about it. If she refuses, she is not on your level. Do not meet her. Think about it; why is she willing to meet you without exposing herself for review? You can always delete and block someone from FaceBook.
- Meet face to face. You just eliminated several bad experiences from your dating process with your vigilance. I usually take about 2 weeks before I meet a woman. If it takes more than 3 weeks for her to commit to a meeting, she is wasting your time. She probably booked too many dates on POF or other dating sites or she’s just not into you enough to move forward.
Please do not hesitate to give feedback on your own experiences. I love hearing and learning from you as well.