I’m not a normal person by any definition. I have more hobbies than I can count, I have no job, no money, no experience, no education, and just about enough qualifications to work at McDonald’s, where I know for a fact they’d never hire me because I’m seventeen and I’ve never had a job before in my life. I both know exactly and have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I have many skills others are envious of, yet no means in which to put any of them to good use. I have amazing ideas I wish to share with the world but ultimately end up sharing them solely with drunken strangers in a nightclub smoking area. The brief satisfaction and momentary praise are barely worth it. I often find my self looking down at my cigarette, slowly burning out, a metaphor for my fleeting content.
One of my biggest regrets is not having stood up to the people who made me feel horrible at school. The people who made fun of my sexuality, the people who asked me stupid questions about it to embarrass me, and the people who wanted me to be their friend, just so they could have a ‘gay best friend.’ I think that might be the worst one; the only time people genuinely wanted to be my friend and it was so I could be an accessory to them, sexuality on a stick they could parade around for attention and popularity.
It’s funny, I’ve got all this uncertainty and regret. Life hasn’t been easy on me, but you know what? I love it. Life’s about the journey, not the destination. Sure, it’s a bumpy ride; but it’s been fun. I’ve got all my friends, my family, I get to write articles and do graphic design for an awesome website. I get to work with amazing people and I get to wake up every morning happy about my life and looking forward to the day ahead. You know, I dropped out of school. I dropped out of college, too. But if I could go back, I wouldn’t change a thing. I made my decisions for a reason and every day that passes where I feel happy only solidifies my certainty that I’ve made the right choices. I don’t know where life’s going to take me next but I don’t care; I’m just gonna ride the wave. I urge you to do the same. Live a life you know you won’t regret, let the mistakes you make change you for the better. Don’t plan too far ahead, don’t live in the past. Don’t let anyone else tell you how to live your life; And most importantly, wear sunscreen. You never know where life’s actually going to take you so you should just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
The best piece of advice I can give you is in the form of an ancient Chinese proverb:
‘Decisions should not be too clear. Otherwise, when things go wrong you will have to take the blame. Keep it vague.’
Su Weidao on the secrets of management, Tang Dynasty
And with that, I’ll let you get on with the rest of your life; but not without giving you something to think about first. If you could go back and amend your biggest mistake, would you? I’d like to hear about it.