The wonderful world of Grindr. The nation’s most popular ‘dating’ app. Now I’m not here to lay down some story about some hookups I had. I mean Wattpad exists for a reason, doesn’t it? When I first got grindr, which was about a year ago, I was slightly excited. I was a young up and coming gay teen who wanted to be someone who was in on the hookup ‘scene’. Well most of the time hooking up isn’t as “glamorous” or as ” hot” you’d like it to be. As an awkward teen who doesn’t do really well with people he does not know, I’ve come to grace you with a short little essay on some pro tips I ‘learned’ along the way.
Anyone who uses “fun” as a euphemism for sex is just really someone you should avoid. Trust me someone who thinks play=sex is just someone you don’t want to bother with because if they lack the maturity to say F*&#$ then why even bother right? I mean there are plenty of cute patient guys who are just sitting there waiting for the right nice guy to come along (one who doesn’t use the word “fun” as a euphemism for sex of course) so they can get this dating thing right; and actually go on a date, in a public place, WHERE PLENTY OF PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU.
This maybe grindr 101 for some people, but old guys are everywhere; you can never escape the gray plague it’s going to catch up with you, but luckily your buddy Greg is here to save the day. Most of these guys have already been full-blown adults and have seen plenty of sh*t so don’t be so rude and just let em down gently you know? Whenever I get a message from an old guy I always give em’ the old “sorry I’m not interested buddy” and they usually go away. For those creeps that send you nudes or ask to suck you off or something like that, you can just automatically block them. It’s not worth responding if the person is just rude and inconsiderate about what you want and what you’re looking for even if you extensively explain it on your profile. Don’t give creeps the time of day but don’t be rude to those guys who are actually gentlemen.
Don’t get on Grindr if you aren’t sure of what you want and do not under any circumstance get on just to lose your virginity. I do not care how hard it has been to find a boyfriend or how sad and empty your first time should be with someone you didn’t the first slut yourself out to. There is some class in that and trust me, it’s plenty a good thing. Sex is awkward it will probably be awkward for some and some guys are just into it, they just know how to go through the motions. Some guys are only on Grindr for quick sex. Don’t give yourself to a guy just to get some quick gratification, having a boyfriend is just always better in the long run.
As I mentioned earlier, I wrote this as advice towards those young people out there who in that cold gray area of sex and sexuality and romantic relationships and all that other fun stuff. If you don’t think you’re ready that’s totally fine. What you do as an adult is your business but keep in mind that what you have done as a minor is more likely to have bigger ripples into adulthood.