I really love this topic, but at the same time, I don’t. See, I don’t really believe in virginity. What constitutes me losing my virginity? In our heteronormative society, it’s oftentimes defined as when a woman has vaginal sex with a man. But what if someone never does? Does that mean they’ve never lost their virginity? And what about all the other forms of sex, even those between a man and a woman. Has one not lost it until they’ve had vaginal sex?
In other words, if someone waits until marriage, what are they giving up on their wedding night? I am not handing you a physical object. What have they been “saving”? Is it the idea of being pure? These are all really interesting questions. It all goes back to the idea that virginity is a social construct–created and developed by society. We can compare this to classifications such as gender and race.
Gender is a social construct; you were not born with the gender assigned to you. It is society, oftentimes your parents, which determines your gender as either male or female based on your biological sex. Similarly, we are all (until we’ve had this sexual experience) born pure — as virgins. This can make sex seem dirty and likens losing your “virginity” to losing your purity. This identity label was put on you by society until you lose it in this sexual experience.
It’s also interesting to look at what “losing your virginity” means within the LGBTQ Community. What experience between two (or more) individuals constitutes the loss of virginity? An orgasm? A certain touch? To me, I don’t really see it as a label I hold or don’t hold and really love discussing it with others.