It’s been a whirlwind of a month for me in every way imaginable. This month I lost my job and with that came, unfortunately, a wave of depression/feeling helpless. Look I’ve never not had a job since I was sixteen I was working. And I’ve done it all I’ve flipped burgers I’ve cleaned offices I got sh*t done when I needed to.
This time for some reason it was a little different, I’ve had no luck finding a new job and I’m starting to panic. People don’t realize that when you’re gay and dress the part (for lack of a better term) it’s so much harder to find a job. I hate having to show up to interviews and see peoples puzzled faces when they call my name and I’m not what they expected to see in front of them.
So needless to say a lot of times I don’t make it to the callback, and it sucks and it’s not fair but I also realize that sometimes life’s not fair but that doesn’t mean I have to give up. I think it has to do with a lot how I was raised, my parents immigrated to this country before I was born so the opportunities they had as illegal immigrants weren’t always the fairest both in pay and in conditions. So when I complain I feel guilty because I start to think of the 12-14 hour work days my dad had to do, or the terrible factory my mom had to work at with no breaks.
There have been a couple of positives that have come out of this however and first and foremost is the fact that I came to the realization that writing is my passion and it’s something I want to do professionally. I always envied people who got to do what they loved and got paid for it so I finally asked myself the pivotal questions, why not me? And so I did, I pursued something I loved to do and now I’m here. It’s insane how things work out in life and it’s even more unimaginable to think that two months ago while I wasn’t thrilled with my job or where I was career wise I could have never imagined taking an unexpected break to end up doing something I truly enjoy. In my case, it took a really unfortunate financial situation for me to be placed in a position where I had to reevaluate my career and what I was doing to finally be like “you know this is not what I want to do.” Hopefully, you can realize it before and decide to take a chance and go for whatever it is you’ve always wanted to pursue.